...: January 2011

"Wake up in the mornin feelin like P diddy"

How does one feel like P. Diddy? What does Sean Combs feel when he wakes up? Besides, I thought he was just "Diddy" now. Or maybe Puff Daddy again.

"Got my glasses I'm out the door gonna hit this city"

Ah, so in this verse one can say Ke$ha reveals her metaphorical nearsightedness. Perhaps we are all nearsighted, blind to details, blind to others. Or, I presume, she's putting on those stupid Kanye West glasses. What are those anyway? What do they do?

"Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack"

Oh my.

"Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't comin back"

First, five lines ago she said she just woke up. Did she time warp to night? Also, one can assume she's not coming back due to the bottle of Jack she just drank, and probably will be in a drunk accident. Not drunk driving though. She seems like a Vespa girl.

"I'm talking - pedicures on our toes, toes"

Well, toes are implied with pedicures. It's not like you're going to get manicures on your hands, hands.

"Trying on all our clothes, clothes"

Why is this repeated? Emphasis? Besides, I thought she left for the night (and ain't comin back).

"Boys blowing up our phones, phones"

What can this mean? Is it possible to transmit a virus that will physically explode Ke$ha's iPhone?

"Drop-talking, playing our favorite CDs."

What?? First she woke up, then she left for the night. Now she's listening to CDs?

"Going to all the parties, tryin to get a little bit tipsy"

Okay. Ke$ha is confused and depressed, if all she does is go to parties and tries to get drunk for no reason. It sounds like something a Nic Cage character would do, as long as it's a Cage film where he's not treasure hunting or his face is aflame. Note, it is not reflected in the transcript but Ke$ha does not say "tipsy" but instead "TEEEIIUUUUOOOPPPSSY."

Lets ignore the offesiveness of this, and look at the mass amount of glitter where breasts would be.

"Don't stop, make it pop"

What? Make what pop?

"DJ, blow my speakers up"

Well, that's even more hazardous than the exploding phone problem she seems to have.

"Tonight, imma fight"

With whom Ke$ha? YOUR INNER DEMONS?

"Till we see the sunlight"

Ah. You are fighting to stay awake and not your inner demons. yet. I'm sure in that fight to not pass out drunk, demons will arise.

"Tick tock, on the clock"

That is what clocks do...

"But the party don't stop, no"

Oh, Ke$ha! You woke up drinking Jack, going to an eternal party is a straight route to alcohol poisoning.

"Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh"

I have nothing. This is literally yodeling.

I love how she's bathing and still filthy looking. And what the hell is on her ear?

"Ain't got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer"

Again, I feel you should care about alcohol poisoning or, possibly, paying for this beer. That seems like an issue that will arise.

"Ain't got no money in ma pocket, but I'm already here"

Okay, Ke$ha just mooches. No one likes her, she's just there.

"And now the dudes are linin up cause they hear we got swagger"

First, the word is swagga. If you listened to any rap (or rap-ish) song ever, it is ALWAYS "swagga." Say the not real word right. Second, why? I think theyre lining up to take you to AA. This is a problem Ke$ha.

"But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger"

What? What? This woman does not know who Mick Jagger is. She is getting him confused. Mick Jagger looks like an old wallet that someone jumped into a pool with.

"I'm talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk"

...what can I say? Ke$ha lives in 2003.

"Boys trying to touch my junk, junk"

EXCUSE ME KE$HA? NO. NO. WOMAN ANATOMY NEVER, EVER, GOES BY JUNK. JESUS GOD!

"Gonna smack him if they're getting too drunk, drunk"

You should goddamn talk Ke$ha! You WOKE UP drinking Jack Daniels! It's less smacking, and more "swatting" in the sense you look like a cat.

"Now, now - we goin till they kick us out, out"

Okay, now I feel bad. This woman has a stutter. She says words repeatedly for no reason. I mean, initially I thought emphasis, but no. Theres no reason "out" needs to be said twice

"but the police shut us down, down, police shut us down, police shut us - down"

Ah, so there is justice. Now just keep her off the street and-

"Don't stop, make it pop"

Why is she still here? She should be handcuffed to a bench.

"DJ, blow my speakers up, tonight, imma fight, till we see the sunlight"

Just... no. Ke$ha is going to be found in an alley. The police ruined her life by not locking her up.

"Tik tok, on the clock"

Again what? It's not like it says "tiCk toCk" on a clock. That's like saying "bow wow on the dog."

"But the party don't stop, no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh (x2)"

God, please end it. She's yodeling again.

"you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
You got me now
You got that sound
Yea, you got me"

What??? When did this become Madonna? What the hell is this?

A Ke$ha in her natural habitat.

"You build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up"

Okay, I guess I can get used to this. At least it doesn't make me feel like I need to take a shower.

"Now, the party don't start til I walk in..."

What- OH MY GOOOD NOOOOOOOOO!

"Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, imma fight
Till we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop, no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh (x2)"

I guess she wanted to hammer that point in again. I have nothing else that can be possibly said.